Over the weekend, Hunter spends a lot of time in what we affectionately refer to as his "man cave." It's a finished basement with a flat screen TV and Wii unit that allows him to escape from the disproportionate amount of estrogen in the household. So, it was really surprising to overhear him recently telling his sister Skye, "It was nice spending time with you."
I was actually shocked. Of late, they've been bickering more than getting along. Having grown up with three little brothers, I know how frustrating younger siblings can be. On the other hand, having grown up, I appreciate how special that bond is between siblings. We're about to depart for Maine for a week's vacation and one of the things I look most forward to is time spent with my brothers and their families.
I'm glad that the relationship Hunter and Skye have is peppered with sentiments like Hunter shared with his sister. "It was nice spending time with you." How sweet and special that he felt compelled to say that to her. How wonderful for her to hear it, and how proud I was as their parent to witness that moment.
As Americans hear more and more from people frantically trying to undo the progress being made on the same sex marriage front and misguided beliefs that our families are not as healthy as families with a mom and a dad, I hold this example up as anecdotal evidence that we have as much love and support to give our children as any other kind of family does. As I've said before, my wife and I worked hard to create this family and we continue to work hard to instill strong family values. This aspiration is not gender-biased, it's a common theme that is shared by most parents.
I pray that as our society continues, this inclusive approach to treating one another equally is seen as just that, a step in the right direction toward and inclusive society, and not one defined by narrow-minded thinking that exempts certain people from enjoying civil rights because of whom they love. Love should know no limitations or discrimination.
Over time, it's my sincere hope that regardless of orientation, we can all arrive at a space where we tell one another, "It was nice spending time with you."
- Stacy Graffam
- I'm a lesbian mom in an inter-racial relationship, living in Bergen County, NJ. My wife and I are raising two beautiful children, an eleven year-old son and a six year-old daughter. I'll be sharing our adventures in faith and parenting on a regular basis. My entries are also published in Gay Parent Magazine (www.gayparentmag.com).