"I don't have a Dad."

Father's Day brings up some interesting conversations in our home. Hunter shared a conversation he had with some friends as they were preparing cards in school for their fathers. Hunter said, "I don't have a Dad." The response from one of his friends was, "Oh my God, is he dead?" Hunter just replied, "No, my parents are lesbians." Inwardly, I groaned at his response, because I still have residual homophobia of my own, and because I am always on alert for my children's well-being. When we asked how that statement went down, he shrugged and said, "It wasn't a big deal, mom."

Hunter  is proud of his family

What a remarkable shift in thinking. I remember at his age, I was petrified of the feelings I had for other girls and knew that I needed to keep it a secret. There were gay jokes strewn around in middle school along with all of the other inappropriate jokes we throw around to test our growing independence and our emerging personalities. Those jokes did nothing but reinforce the closet in which I kept my true feelings. I took on the identity of a scholar and bookworm and "good girl." No one would ever find out the truth.

Yet, here is Hunter, loud and proud. He's a fantastic ally to the LGBT community and so confident about who he is and who his family is. Now, I know that Hunter sometimes wonders what having a Dad would be like. But, I know for sure that Hunter is NOT suffering from a lack of confidence or low self-esteem. We've been blessed with strong men in our lives who have demonstrated beautifully what it means to be a man. Hunter knows it's more about character and being true to who he is than it is about brute strength or stoic silence.

I love watching him grow and move in the world. As I watch him seek out his own style, I have to chuckle. His hairstyles have morphed since he started school so many years ago, his attention to fashion has moved from ambivalence to a heightened sense of style that can only be satisfied with Abercrombie and Fitch or Aeropostale, and his taste in music has (thankfully) moved from the Wiggles to Mac Miller. I'm sure he'll change even more as time passes.The realization that we only have him for a few more years before he strikes out for college is more acute with each passing day. He's going to be 12 in September. My angel who kept me out of Manhattan on 9-11 is on the cusp of becoming a teenager!

To all of those dads out there who show the best of what fatherhood represents, I thank you. I hope you had a great Father's Day and realize that those people in your life who are closest to you, celebrate your role as dad every day, and that appreciation is merely amplified on the second Sunday in June. I wonder where I'll be several years from now.  . .will I be blessed to watch my son embrace fatherhood? He claims he wants no part of it, but as we all know, things and opinions change as we march into adulthood and find our life partners. And I know, he'd be a fantastic dad.