Tuesday, July 2, 2013

"Because your wife likes it that way."

My family decided to have a post-PRIDE NYC dinner at our new favorite restaurant, Bahama Breeze. While there, my wife asked me to remove my hat and I reluctantly did, exposing what had to be the worst hat-head 'do there. I complained about the way I must look, and Donna told me, "You look like David Cassidy, and I like it that way." I ruefully smiled and started looking at the menu.

Skye said, "Yeah, Mama. If anyone gives you a hard time, just say, 'My wife likes it this way.'"

Skye reminds me how to be loud and proud.
Of course, that response got a fist pump from Donna and a laugh from me. Skye is fearless and she also could care less about what other people think. Sometimes, that can be a challenge, where behavior is concerned. However, I've always admired her sense of style and individuality. For Skye, an outfit works if she feels right in it. It doesn't matter if she's blending winter fabrics with summer flip flops, or patterns that don't complement each other; what matters is that if it suits Skye's artistic flair, then it works. And she does make it work.

I've decided the lesson in that moment was that I have to stop worrying about what the world thinks and make peace with my own corner of the universe. And what a remarkable corner I enjoy. I couldn't help but muse over the irony of that conversation and the fact that we had just enjoyed celebrating our family in the midst of the biggest Gay Pride event in the world, NYC's Pride Parade. For a moment every year, we enjoy how far we have come and celebrate the courage and bravery of millions of LGBT people who have worked tirelessly on our behalf. Our official civil rights movement started with Stonewall in 1969, which was blocks away from where I stood with Skye earlier in the day, waiting to see Donna and Hunter charge past us as part of the NYC Sirens Motorcycle club. That group always leads the parade, and this is the second year Donna has ridden with them, with Hunter proudly sporting a rainbow hairstyle.

The Pride Event this year ended a remarkable week during which DOMA was deemed unconstitutional, allowing LGBT citizens of some states the same constitutional rights that our heterosexual brothers and sisters enjoy. Now, if only Governor Christie would get with the program and allow us to marry, Donna and I would celebrate with a legal marriage. Right now, we have a pseudo-marriage by heterosexual standards are continue to be denied thousands of rights that others take for granted.

And on the day we can finally marry and have it recognized in our home state, I'll wear my hair like David Cassidy, because my wife likes it that way.