"The Rev."

I've been reminded in recent conversations and Throw Back Thursday shares on facebook, that my nickname in high school was "The Rev." It was never used in a derogatory manner. The kids I hung out with referred to me as "The Rev." with affection, knowing that I aspired to be a pastor when I grew up. What they didn't know at the time was that I knew I was gay. And I mistakenly believed at the time that being gay and being a pastor were mutually exclusive.

"The Rev." age 15

Today, I know that's not true. I know many openly gay clergy and I only wish I had enough vision to have pursued my dream in high school. Knowing that everything happens for a reason, I will accept that I took a different path and must have faith that it happened for a reason. Even as a business woman working for IBM and an entrepreneur running The Situation Box, LLC, I  still aspire to be an official member of the clergy when I grow up. With life spans growing increasingly longer, I look forward to a time that I can achieve that dream deferred.

When I was chatting with a friend in Baltimore who recently made my little girl's dream of seeing Katy Perry in concert come true, the topic of religion came up. She has a strong faith, as I do, and we both shared the struggles we have had around mainstream society's position on being gay and Christian and how that translated into our own experience growing up. Both of us tried to "pray the gay away" and realized in our adulthood that we are lesbian and Christian and neither of those things will change. The only choice we had was to live authentically and openly so we could be happy and enjoy all of the blessings God has given us; including our beautiful wives.

As I look at this picture of myself taken nearly 30 years ago, I remember the idealism I held. I am still rather idealistic, but it's been tempered with the experience that only age brings. I can't say I regret my choices so far, but I can say that these recent conversations have uncovered precious memories of that young aspiring theologian. I want to revisit her ambition and achieve that dream. Now, I only need a game plan.

Like so much of my life and my success, I know that game plan will unfold in a way similar to watching a flower grow. . . you don't realize how suddenly it flowers until one day you wake up and the beauty takes your breath away. In the interim, I will continue to see "Out in Suburbia" as my ministry.

Thanks for joining me as I waxed nostalgia. . . and stay tuned as I figure out how to earn that nickname again.